


it seems it's written, but we can't read between the lines

by devereauxed



Series: Roisa Deadly Sins Week [2]
Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Angst, College AU, F/F, Roisa Deadly Sins Week, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 20:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10543934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devereauxed/pseuds/devereauxed
Summary: Day Two: Soulmate AU + EnvyRose Ruvelle doesn't believe in love and she doesn't believe in soulmates.No matter what the mark on her wrist says.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo this one kinda got away from me a little bit and ended being a lot longer than I expected. Hopefully it's not TOO long. 
> 
> Also envy is in it, I promise, it just takes awhile for it to kick in. 
> 
> I'm still pretty unsure about this one, so let me know what you think!

Rose Ruvelle lay on her back staring up at the ceiling. She could hear a party going on in the courtyard - people laughing, someone singing, and music of questionable taste but never-ending energy thumping loudly. She sighed, wishing she could just let herself go out there and have fun. She envied their ability to live without worrying about the consequences. She wanted to join in so badly, but something always stopped her. Hearing her stepmother’s voice in her head, telling her not to make waves, to keep her head down, she rubbed her hands across her face roughly. She’d run away from that for a reason, and yet here she was, still not making waves and keeping her head down. 

She lifted her left wrist and ran her fingers softly across the word etched into her skin. _Luisa_. She didn’t know who Luisa was, and if she had anything to say about it, she never would. She didn’t believe in love, and she didn’t believe in soulmates, no matter what the mark on her arm said. Her childhood had taught her a lot of things, and just how much of a lie love was sat right at the top.   

So she was just going to have to learn to be alone. It really was better that way. 

And that was that.

* * *

The next day Rose rushed through the halls of the university, doing her best to avoid eye contact with everyone she passed. The first day of class was always particularly unnerving for her. So many professors insisted on doing introductions and ice breakers and when you changed your name and entire life at seventeen to escape your insane, abusive stepmother those things were always a little more stressful.

She walked into her first class and took a seat toward the back, pulling out her books and doing her best to look unremarkable. She had to admit it was easier to not attract attention now that she had swapped her bright red hair for a plainer brown, but regardless most boys didn’t seem to notice or care about her very clear ‘leave me alone’ vibe. 

As the other students filtered in, the low rumble of chatter grew steadily louder, but it was suddenly broken by a laugh from the hall so loud and joyous that it caused everyone in the room to laugh in response. Goosebumps prickled up Rose’s arms, and she felt her stomach twist as she turned to the door, her blue eyes wide. There was something about that laugh.

A beautiful girl with long brown hair, sparkling eyes, and a wide grin appeared in the doorway, seemingly unembarrassed about her loud laughter. Rose felt light-headed, the world seeming to fade at the edges as she looked at the girl.

 _Well this can’t be good_ , Rose thought, her hands shaking slightly. _Please don’t be her. Please please please._

The girl walked in confidently, scanning the seated students before spotting someone she knew who, of course, was seated directly behind Rose. Rose ducked her head and tried to look focused on her book as the girl passed her and took a seat next to her friend. The two girls started speaking in rapid-fire Spanish, joking and laughing about something Rose couldn’t understand, but warmth still pooled in her stomach at the laughing girl’s voice.

The professor walked in causing the class to quiet as she set up at the front of the room. Rose realized she was gripping the edge of her desk tightly and released her hand, flexing her sore fingers.

“Hi folks, welcome to Anatomy 1100. I’m Professor Mason, but please call me Larissa,” the woman at the front said genially. “I’ll start with a quick roll call, and then we’ll get right into it." 

Rose let out a slow breath of thanks at the lack of forced introductions. She rolled her shoulders quickly, forcing herself to relax. She was overreacting. The girl was just pretty, that’s all. Really, _really_ pretty. She just needed to focus.

“Okay, first we have…” Larissa trailed off, scanning the list, “Luisa Alver?”

Rose flinched wildly, knocking everything off of her desk with a loud bang. A ripple of laughter spread through the class, and she scrambled to pick everything up off of the floor. Another pair of hands joined hers helping to stack her books and Rose looked up, her blue eyes meeting the concerned brown ones of the girl she now knew was Luisa.

Rose’s face flushed as she felt the full force of Luisa’s undivided attention wash over her for the first time. Something flickered through Luisa’s eyes as she stared back at Rose, and she tilted her head looking at her curiously.

“Hi,” Luisa breathed out, sounding for all the world like she already knew Rose, her hand drifting to her wrist, instinctively stroking her mark. Rose couldn’t read it but she knew that it was likely her name written across Luisa’s skin. Rose fought the urge to reach for own mark, grateful that she had covered it with both her special brand of cover-up and a bracelet today. 

Rose looked away quickly, saying hastily, “Uh, hi. Thanks. Appreciate it.” She quickly slumped back into her chair, hiding her face in her hand.

Larissa smiled at her warmly, trying to ease the embarrassment on Rose’s behalf. “Luisa?”

“That’s me,” Luisa said behind her, her voice shaking.

“All right, then next we have Brad Bailey?” she continued, moving down the list quickly, and before long she called out, “Rose Ruvelle?”

Rose put up a hand and she heard a quiet, surprised “What?” from behind her. Suddenly, she knew that it wasn’t this name that graced Luisa’s wrist, it was her birth name. Her heart sped up slightly. Maybe there was still a way out of this.

“Great!” Larissa wrapped up the roll call, and clapped her hands. “Let’s go through the syllabus first and I’ll explain your projects before I give a quick introductory lecture." 

As the professor walked them through what their semester was going to look like, Rose took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Luisa’s mark saying her other name made it a little bit easier. She could work with this.

For the rest of the class Rose did her best to focus on the professor’s words, but predictably found her attention wandering to the girl behind her. She wondered what Luisa was thinking. She felt a pang when she realized just how confused the brunette must be, and another when she considered that she was going to lie to her and keep her from finding her soulmate. But she knew it had to be this way. Rose couldn’t do love, and she certainly couldn’t drag Luisa into her crazy world. She straightened her back resolutely. This was just the way it had to be.

“All right then!” Larissa said, clapping her hands. “Before we go we’re going to pick our pairs for your organ presentations. I’ll go around the room and you’ll each draw from this mug. There’s two of each organ in here and that’ll get you your partner.”

Rose sighed. She hated working with other students. The work always ended up landing entirely on her shoulders, and she was tired of carrying other people. Larissa moved through the room and each student grabbed a piece of paper. Rose pulled a crumpled slip from the mug as the professor passed and unrolled it to read _heart_.

Her stomach dropped and she closed her eyes, silently begging the universe not to do this, but her fears were confirmed when Luisa also raised her hand when Larissa called out that part of the body. Luisa gave her a hesitant smile, and Rose sighed, smiling back softly. This was certainly going to make it more difficult, but she was just going to have to make it work. 

Larissa ended class shortly after that, and Rose heard the group behind her start chattering, the chorus of voices noticeably missing Luisa’s this time. Rose busied herself putting her books away, risking a quick glance at Luisa who seemed lost in thought. One of her friends bumped her shoulder and said with a teasing smile, “So no Clara in this class either, huh? Whatever will you do?”

There it was. The final confirmation. Her soulmate. She’d been dreading this moment her whole life. Rose jumped up and rushed out of the door, catching a glimpse of Luisa trying to get her attention as she fled.

As soon as Rose made it out of the room she stopped. She couldn’t just run away, she had to set the tone for this, she had to make it normal and uncomplicated. She hovered outside the door, fighting the urge to flee. Not long after, Luisa walked out of the room, her face lighting up in a relieved smile when she saw Rose waiting for her.  

Rose tucked her hair behind her ear and stammered, “I guess we should exchange numbers? And um, maybe make a plan?”

Luisa nodded eagerly, paused hesitantly, then said, “So your name is Rose?” 

Rose knew Luisa was fishing for information. She wanted confirmation of what she’d felt and didn’t understand why it wasn’t happening. Rose nodded. “Yeah, Rose Ruvelle,” she said, trying to appear casual.

Luisa’s brow creased a little, but she said, “Luisa. But you knew that.” Rose saw Luisa’s eyes drift to her wrist, clearly hoping catch a glimpse of her mark but trying not to be obvious. Rose reached into her bag and pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled her phone number on it, handing it to Luisa. 

“Here’s my number. Text me and we can figure out a time to meet?” she said. Luisa nodded, still looking faintly dazed. Rose smiled at her and turned to walk away, but Luisa grabbed her arm. The hair on the back of her neck stood up at Luisa’s touch, and she fought to hide the shiver that went through her. Luisa clearly felt it too.

“Do you have a nickname?” she asked quietly. “A middle name?”

Rose shook her head, trying to look unaffected and confused. “Nope, why?”

“I feel like…I guess I feel like I know you,” Luisa said.

“I only moved here last year,” Rose said, trying to inject some brightness into her voice. “Maybe I look like someone you know?”

Luisa shook her head slightly, but said, “Yeah. Maybe.”

Rose forced a smile before turning and walking away, trying desperately to keep her feelings in check and not run as fast as she could away from everything the universe had just thrown at her.

* * *

Rose tapped her fingers nervously on the table, trying to read her book, or at least appear as though she was, but casually watching for Luisa out of the corner of her eye. This was their third scheduled study session, and just like every other time Rose was both terrified and excited to see the brunette. In their two earlier sessions they had mostly avoided discussing anything personal, sticking to their assignment. Luisa had stopped pushing for more information, though she still casually attempted to get a look at Rose’s mark, but didn’t go any further. Their interactions remained friendly, if somewhat detached, but Rose was having a hard time fighting the feelings being near Luisa had caused. It had been harder than she expected to make Luisa think she wasn’t hers.

Luisa breezed into the café and dropped into the seat across from Rose, jolting her from her thoughts.

“Hey,” Rose said nonchalantly. “How are you?”

“I’m good! How are you?” Luisa responded.

“Good, good.”

There was a moment of awkward silence, before Rose suggested they get to work.

Twenty minutes later, Rose could tell that Luisa was distracted. She was repeatedly tapping her pen against her notebook, giving vague answers to Rose’s questions, and staring at the table in front of her but not seeing it.

“Luisa?” Rose prodded.

Luisa shook herself slightly, looking up to meet Rose’s gaze. She opened her mouth, hesitated, and then said, “Can I ask you something?”

Rose’s heart sped up slightly, but she nodded.

“Do you have a mark?” 

Rose opened her mouth to answer, but shut it again without saying anything.

“I know it’s personal. I’m sorry. I just feel like…” she trailed off, then moved on without completing her admission. “It just doesn’t seem like you have one, from what I can see.”

Rose pulled her sleeve up, baring her wrist to the brunette, grateful she’d made a habit of putting multiple coats of cover-up on her mark whenever she would be seeing Luisa. 

“No,” Rose said quietly. “I’m an Irredeemable.”

Luisa stared at her blank wrist for a moment before she looked up at Rose with wide eyes. Rose fought to keep the emotion out of her face, something that got a lot harder when Luisa’s eyes filled with tears.

“Oh,” Luisa breathed. “Oh Rose I am so sorry.”

She felt her heart constrict at the sympathy etched across Luisa’s face. This pain wasn’t selfish, she wasn’t upset because she thought her own mark was wrong, she was entirely focused on Rose’s fate.

Rose looked down. She’d lied about being an Irredeemable many times before, but usually only to further her stepmother’s plans. But this was real. Telling Luisa this had altered the course of her entire life. It was done. 

“It’s okay,” Rose said quietly. “I’ve always known how everything would end up for me.”

“Rose…” Luisa sighed, and she looked back up to see a tear make its way down the other girl’s cheek and fought the urge to reach across the table and wipe it away.

“It’s okay,” Rose said softly. “I’m okay.”

Luisa swallowed hard, looking at her thoughtfully, then gave a small nod. She wiped a hand across her cheek and said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry. This isn’t even about me.” She gave a small laugh that didn’t have much humor.

Rose smiled at her reassuringly. “It’s all right, don’t worry about it. It’s…it’s nice that you care.” As it was coming out of her mouth, Rose realized she meant it. It _was_ nice that she cared. And now that it was done, now that their future had been averted, maybe they could be friends. Rose knew she was playing with fire, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to keep Luisa in her life now that she’d found her.

And that was the day Rose and Luisa became friends.

* * *

_Three months later._

Rose was sprawled on her bed doing her best to focus on her notes. Finals were looming and she really needed to focus. This semester had been a whirlwind of class and Luisa. They saw each other nearly every day, doing everything from studying to Luisa dragging Rose out to the movies or the beach. Luisa’s friends were convinced they were dating, regardless of what Luisa told them, and Rose had to admit the lines were starting to blur, especially after Luisa had accidentally fallen asleep in her bed one night, something she was now doing regularly.

They didn’t talk about it, they just wanted to be around each other. Rose had had to be especially vigilant about keep her mark covered with Luisa spending so much time around her, but so far there had been no close calls. She knew she was torturing herself by letting Luisa get this close to her, but she knew that she was torturing the other girl more. Luisa had no idea just how close she was to her soulmate.

Speaking of Luisa, Rose flicked her eyes to the clock on her night table, she was supposed to be here by now. They needed to finalize their heart project for anatomy, and she was surprised to find that she was more than twenty minutes late. 

Just as she was about to switch from surprised to worried Luisa came bursting into her room, smiling widely, dropping the bags of food she’d brought with her onto Rose’s desk. 

She spun to look at Rose, her eyes sparkling, and said exclaimed, “You’ll never guess what happened.”

Rose sat up, smiling at Luisa’s exuberance. “What?"

With a grin Luisa said, “I met her!” 

Rose looked at her blankly.

“Clara! I met her!” Luisa bounced a couple of times.

Rose’s stomach dropped, the edges of her vision blurring. “What?” she sputtered.

“I know! I can’t believe it! I was getting food because I know you’re going to be up all night studying and if I don’t feed you then nobody will, but then there she was! She came right up to me and it was just…” she trailed off, sighing happily.

Rose stared at Luisa, her mouth open, trying to find a way to respond. She didn’t understand. She knew that she was Luisa’s soulmate, she was Luisa’s Clara. But. Was she? Maybe she wasn’t after all. Maybe Luisa was hers, but Rose was actually meant to be alone. Maybe she really was an Irredeemable. Maybe after all of the time she’d spent trying to make that happen, she finally had. 

“Rose?” Luisa asked nervously and she realized she’d been silent for too long. She forced enthusiasm from deep within and jumped off the bed to give her a hug.

“Congratulations, Lu! I’m so happy for you!” she said, holding the other girl tightly, keeping her close so Luisa wouldn’t see the pain in her eyes.

She knew she shouldn’t have let Luisa get this close.

* * *

Finals had come and gone and the semester ended quietly. Too quietly. Without Luisa around things were far too quiet.

Rose found herself lying on her bed again, listening to the buzz of happy students enjoying the summer outside her window. Luisa and Clara had been spending more and more time together, and Rose wasn’t doing well. It hadn’t taken long for Luisa’s visits to stop being daily, and now she hadn’t seen her in almost two weeks. 

She didn’t like this girl. This girl had her hands all over Luisa, her Luisa. She knew that she didn’t have the right to call her that, but as she traced her fingers across the swirls in Luisa’s name on her wrist she couldn’t help it. She wanted Luisa so badly. She knew she’d been so selfish in assuming that she could keep her and not give her everything she deserved, but now that Luisa was in someone else’s arms Rose felt like she didn’t fit into her own body.

Luisa had brought Clara to dinner with Rose and some of her other friends, and Rose had spent the entirety of the meal trying not to break the dishes. Seeing Clara’s hands softly stroking up and down Luisa’s leg possessively had hurt her almost as much as the adoring look on Luisa’s face every time she looked at the other girl.

She’d had to lie next to Luisa on this very bed while Luisa gushed endlessly about Clara. How funny and sweet and kind and _oh my god Rose the sex is just unbelievable_ and she’d had to dig her nails into her arm to stop herself from rolling over, pinning Luisa beneath her, and taking back her soulmate. Everything she wanted to do with Luisa ran through her head on a loop. The dates she wanted to take her on, the places she wanted to kiss her, the ways she wanted to make her moan.

But then her mind would flash to Clara getting to do those things and she was overcome with the urge to set fire to the world around her.

She’d never been jealous before. Not like this. She had been jealous of kids who’d had regular childhoods, who got to play soccer and make friends, who didn’t spend the majority of their time as a decoy or being groomed to take on a criminal empire, but this was something else entirely. The jealousy burned in her chest with every breath she took, it made her blood run white-hot, scalding her from the inside out. She didn’t know if this was normal jealousy or if it was worse because Luisa was her soulmate, but she really felt like she was losing her mind.

It didn’t help that she also had her doubts about Clara. She knew that she was predisposed to be distrustful of her, but Luisa had let it slip that Clara wouldn’t show her her mark. According to Luisa, she was saving that moment for a special night between them, something romantic, a big step forward. But Rose wasn’t so sure. She’d seen the way Clara carried herself, the strut in her walk. She acted like the she owned the world, and she hadn’t been blind to the way Clara looked at other women. Even her. As Rose had walked up to the table the night of the dinner, Clara had let her eyes trail shamelessly up Rose’ body, ending with a meaningful smirk that only faded when Luisa introduced her as her friend.

She couldn’t shake the thought that Clara was using Luisa, and if that turned out to be true, well, growing up with Elena had been good for some things. At least she knew how to hide the bodies. And she honestly wasn’t sure if she was serious or not.

Her fuming was interrupted by the rattling of the doorknob. When whoever was on the other side realized the door was locked they started pounding on the door. Rose sat upright, fear spiking through her. What if Elena found her?

She stood, carefully and quietly, trying to decide if it was actually possible to scale down the side of the building.

But then she heard someone calling her name desperately. It was Luisa. She rushed to the door, pulling it open, and Luisa collapsed into her arms, sobbing. Rose wrapped her arms tightly around the other girl, shut the door carefully and led her back to the bed. She sat Luisa down and tried to pull away but Luisa wouldn’t let her, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and burying her face in Rose’s neck.

“Lu, what happened?” Rose said in a whisper.

Luisa just cried harder. She couldn’t talk. So Rose just held her, rubbing her hands softly across her back comfortingly. Eventually Luisa cried herself out, the tears slowly drying and her breath evening out. Soon she was just lying with her head on Rose’s shoulder, sniffling, one hand wrapped tightly in the hem of Rose’s shirt.

Rose pressed a soft kiss to Luisa’s forehead and said soothingly, “Are you ready to talk about it?”

Luisa sighed deeply. “She lied to me,” she said, so quietly Rose almost couldn’t hear it. 

Rose closed her eyes as her heart sank, thinking about all the ways she was going to make Clara suffer.

“She lied about her mark,” Luisa continued. “Except she didn’t. She never said it was me, not directly. I just thought…I feel like such an idiot.”

“Hey, this isn’t on you,” Rose said, running her fingers through Luisa’s hair. “This was her. She manipulated you.” 

“I just don’t understand how I could have been so stupid,” Luisa said, standing up and beginning to pace in front of Rose. “I can’t believe I let myself think it would be that easy. The last few months have just been so confusing. I met you and I thought - and then we were – but then I met her and it was like I was so ready to believe, I just let her in.”

Rose tried to interrupt, to get Luisa to stop for a second, but Luisa kept going. Going into detail about all of the ways Clara had taken advantage of her, the ways she had manipulated her, questioning why she had even gone to all the trouble. Rose put her chin on her hand and followed Luisa with her eyes as she moved back and forth, doing her best to support her wordlessly as she let go of all of her feelings.

“The worst part is I didn’t even _want_ her, I wanted-“Luisa broke off, staring at Rose.

Rose sat up. “What?” 

She followed Luisa’s eye line - to her wrist. Her stomach dropped. She hadn’t been expecting Luisa, and after so much time had passed since she’d just shown up in the middle of the night she hadn’t covered up her mark just in case.

There it was, plain as day, the swirls of Luisa’s name written clearly across her skin.

Luisa gaped at her. “What – I don’t – Rose what it that?” she asked, her voice laced with desperation.

Rose looked up at the girl in front of her and knew she was done with lying about it.

“It’s my mark,” she said simply.

“But…but you said you didn’t have one, you said you were an Irredeemable….Rose that’s my name,” she said, growing increasingly upset.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just,” Rose started, but Luisa cut her off. 

“That’s my name! I thought I was crazy! I thought I imagined the way that I felt when I looked at you! That I was dreaming of a reality I couldn’t have! You let me think it wasn’t real!” Luisa yelled.

“Lu, please,” Rose said, standing carefully and reaching for Luisa but she stepped back out of her reach. “Please just let me explain.”

“How could you do this? You lied to me. This is about the rest of our lives!” Luisa continued.

“I was so scared, Luisa! You don’t understand. You don’t know what it was like for me growing up, I didn’t think love was something that I was capable of!” Rose said franticly. She could feel Luisa slipping away again.

“But I’m right here! Don’t tell me you don’t feel it! I knew it the second I looked at you. For the first time in my entire life I knew I was in the right place, that I had done the right thing. You took that away from me, Rose! You took away the one moment of my life where I felt stable, where I felt safe! You took the one good thing that had ever happened to me and you broke it!” Luisa yelled, running her fingers shakily through her hair. 

Rose stopped, stunned. There was nothing she could say to that. Her eyes filled with tears. She tried to brush them away, this wasn’t about her, it was about Luisa. But the tears wouldn’t stop. She collapsed to the bed, hiding her face in her hands as she cried.

She couldn’t tell if Luisa was still there, but she wouldn’t blame her if she’d turned and ran. She truly was an Irredeemable.

But then she felt a light touch on her arm, a soft hand rubbing gentle circles along her wrist. Then Luisa had pulled her into her arms and was holding her tightly, much like Rose had held her earlier. She cried for Luisa, for herself, for her father, her childhood. She cried for the brother she couldn’t contact, for every moment that Elena had systematically removed her ability to believe in love, or happiness, or herself.  

She cried until she felt like every part of her had broken. When she came back to herself Luisa was still there, gentle hands running across her back and through her hair. She pulled back and looked up into Luisa’s face. Luisa’s eyes were red, and fresh tears ran down her cheeks.

“I am so sorry, Luisa,” Rose said, her voice hoarse. “I didn’t mean to do this to you. I don’t…I don’t know how to be a person.”

Luisa’s eyes locked onto hers and filled with warmth. She didn’t say anything. Rose knew she couldn’t say that it was okay, because it wasn’t, but with the look in Luisa’s eyes, Rose knew that it would be, one day.

Hesitantly she reached out a hand to brush the tears from Luisa’s cheeks and the other girl leaned into her touch. Rose reverently ran her fingers down her cheek to her lips, softly tracing her fingers across them and Luisa placed a gentle kiss to the tips.

Luisa gently grasped Rose’s wrist and pulled it away, then said, “Can you just tell me one thing? Just so I know for sure? Because I need to hear it.”  
  
Rose sat up and nodded. 

“Are you Clara? Are you my Clara?” Luisa asked, her voice small.

Rose reached out and gently placed her hand across the mark on Luisa’s wrist. “Yes,” she said emphatically. “Clara is my…birth name, I guess you could say.” 

Luisa nodded slowly, her eyes thoughtful.

“I know I’m yours, Luisa,” she said softly. She moved her hand slowly up Luisa’s arm, and grasped her by the back of the neck gently, and pulled her into a soft kiss.

And it was like fireworks.


End file.
